In the Superior's Boots
by Strategy Improvisation
Summary: When Xemnas decides to show the Organization how tough it is to be the leader, they each take their turn as head honcho for a week. !DISCONTINUED!
1. Prologue The Start of It All

'Kay, this makes fic number three! Yes, yes, I know I'm writing two stories at once. Just try and be patient, alright?

I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Organization XIII or any of the characters. This crackfic is purely for fun. Enjoy! ;)

**Prologue**

**The Start of It All**

"Superior, the Keyblade Master is avoiding all capture!"

"We can't seem to track down the brat and his friends, sir!"

"The boy, good Leader, the boy! He's spoiled yet another of your genious plans!"

"Superior Xemnas! We're out of potato chips!"

"AXEL!"

"What?! We _are_!"

There were so many times when Xemnas wanted to close out his mind from the twelve Nobodies that depended on him for so much. Constantly nagging, unable to do anything for themselves, and failing plan after plan after plan, the useless fools. Couldn't they fend for themselves? No. It was always "Superior!" this, and "Superior!" that. A neverending headache. So it was no surprise when he yelled out suddenly into the silent meeting room.

"ORGANIZATION! MEETING ROOM! NOW!!"

"S-Sir..." Came a timid voice somewhere in the room. "We _are_ in the meeting r-room."

The Superior glared down at the outspoken Nobody. "SILENCE!" He roared, and the targeted whimpered and sank down in his pure white chair.

Taking a breath to collect himself, he leered around at the twelve in the suspended seats around him. He was the highest up, and could easily peer down at them all.

"As you can very well see, I am displeased with all of you." He slowly looked at each member in turn, his golden brown eyes holding a piercing stare.

He continued, "And, because of this, I have thought of a new plan."

The discomfort of the Nobodies was highly noticable. Some tensed slightly, others shifted impatiently. There was even a small gasp heard.

"I have decided, that each and every one of you take your turn as Superior of Organization XIII. You will have complete control of all members for one-hundred-sixty-eight hours total."

"And exactly, like, how long is that?" Came a voice loudly.

"A week!" Hissed another in response.

The first did not seem satisfied. "How lo--" 

"SEVEN DAYS!" An annoyed shout replied.

"Superior," A blonde woman who had her hood removed began, a hungry gleam in her eye. "You said complete control. Does that not mean the others have to obey your every command, even against their will?"

"Indeed, Number XII. They will listen and fulfill your every desire."

An evil grin flashed across the woman's face. "Thank you, sir."

"If there are not any more questions," Xemnas eyed the room again. "We shall begin in exactly fourty-eight hours time." He announced cooly.

"H--"

"Two days, Xigbar, two days!" The one who had answered before leaned forward in his chair and whispered across the room. "Honestly, have you ever considered a math tu---" A familiar glare from their Superior silenced the chatter that had begun in the room.

"I hope you all think wisely about what you will make of your time as Superior. I expect plans made ahead of time, not making up your mind as you go along." Xemnas added to a spikey redhead who had been slightly slouched over in his seat, drawing invisible patterns on the armrest with his finger. The man sat up straight immediately. "Dismissed."

The Nobodies cleared the room, each already planning their week of leadership. Some had gathered in pairs, whispering excitedly to one another, others preferring to think alone. Xemnas watched them, still seated, and thought innocently, _Nothing can possibly go wrong: a simple week in the Superior's boots?_

How very wrong he was.


	2. Chapter 1 Leadership Sucks

**Chapter 1**

**Xemnas, "Leadership Sucks"**

It was around daybreak the very day when Xemnas flew up into a sitting position in the bed in his large, spacious room. He put a palm to his lightly sweating forehead, thinking over the nightmare he had just had. _I am a Nobody. I do not have emotions._ _I cannot fear._ Yet, the dream he had just had made him doubt that a little. A dream filled with chaos, all his doing, gave him a slight feeling of dread. He laid back down, hoping to get a little more sleep to prepare him for the long day ahead.

Twelve Nobodies sat in their usual seats in the circular meeting room, taking advantage of their missing Superior, who was oddly not present at the moment. In fact, they were taking such an advantage, they did not even respect his title.

"Yo, Roxas!" The redhead who had not been paying attention the previous day called to a young blonde boy with spikey hair.

Roxas looked over in the direction of the call. "Yes, Axel?" He asked halfheartedly. This was the sixth time Axel had called to him in the past ten minutes.

"Do you think Xemnas is off his rocker, for letting each of us control the Organization for a week?"

Eleven pairs of eyes were now on him, each shining with a look of disbelief and shock.

"How could you say such a thing!?"

"_You_ must be off _your_ rocker!"

"You don't have a heart, and now you're brainless too?"

"Oh no," Axel said, poking himself in the side of the head knowingly. "I do too have a brain. And what I'm saying I completely mean."

"N-no you don't! You don't know what you're saying!" A blonde said, giving Axel a look that seemed as if they were all in terrible danger. "You _really_ don't." He nudged his head slightly in the direction of the Superior's chair: he had just entered the meeting room.

Axel blinked at him, before being hit with the obvious rather loudly. "OH!" He said, hitting himself in the forehead, for he had just caught a glimpse of Xemnas looking furious in his seat. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," The redhead said robotically and loudly. "I did not mean any of that. I must be insane." He gave a nervous laugh before slumping down in his seat, dreading his future punishment from his Leader.

Xemnas cleared his throat, and all attention was immediately on him. "This is the last day in twelve weeks that I will be in charge. I hope that all of you consider the other members during your seven days, and won't destroy Organization XIII during. Before our little experiment begins, I shall announce the rules, so that they may not be overlooked while you plan and lead."

He paused, expecting some sort of interruption, but for once was not questioned. He did notice, however, that some members gave a negative reaction to the mention of rules, but nothing more.

"Rule number one: If at any point during your leadership, all hell breaks loose, you, as the Superior, will have to see that the chaos is controlled. If needed I _will _intervene, but as of yet I see that as unnecessary.

"Rule number two: You may NOT harm other members in any way. This includes killing." He shot a look at the blonde woman, who seemed annoyed at this rule.

"Rule number three: You will have complete and total responsibility of the Organization, which means solving problems, creating plans, and the riddance of the Keyblade Master."

There were signs of uneasiness around the room, some obviously did not like the idea of complete and total responsibility.

"Do I make myself clear?" Asked their Leader quietly, and all was still. The dozen below him all nodded solemnly, trying to find some sort of loophole in his rules. "Dismissed. All except number VIII."

Axel cringed, shooting a helpless look to the others, who avoided his pleading green eyes as they left the room. "Superior." He said finally, folding his arms.

Bowing his head, Xemnas gazed down at the redhead with narrowed eyes. "Number VIII, you have displeased me."

"My deepest apologies, Superior." Axel nodded once, not looking up into the cold eyes that seemed to be X-raying him.

"I do not like to be insulted." His cool tone sent a tiny shiver down Axel's spine. "I do believe punishment would be appropriate, Number VIII. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Of course, Leader, whatever you see fit." _Even if you _are_ off your rocker._

"I see you writing a oath of respect to fit quite nicely."

"Yes, I think so too."

"Then you are dismissed. Send Number II in."

"Yes, and thank you." Nodding stiffly, Axel summoned Number II, a man with an eyepatch and a striped ponytail.

"Good luck, Xigbar." Whispered Axel, before leaving the room to write his pledge at last.

Xigbar looked up at Xemnas. "Superior." He said, but unlike Axel he was not expecting punishment.

"Ah, Number II." Organization XIII's leader said calmly. "As you know, tomorrow at daybreak you will be held responsible for eleven others. You are first up for the task, and I am... interested... to know how you will handle the situation without any examples from the others. Although an example from me should be enough."

Xigbar had been spacing out as Xemnas was talking, but suddenly jerked back into reality when the cold voice ceased. He gave a small laugh. "Sorry, Superior. I kinda zoned."

"Did I disrupt your thoughts?" The Superior was not amused.

Number II shook his head quickly. "No, Leader. Daybreak, examples... I gotcha."

Although still doubtful, Xemnas allowed Xigbar to dismiss, leaving him to his thoughts. _Could I be making a mistake? No... I don't make mistakes; it's the others who screw up my plans._ He gave a loud sigh. _It will be good to have some weight off my shoulders... I wonder how long it will take them to realize... Leadership sucks._


	3. Chapter 2 Part 1 Hang Two

**Chapter 2**

**Xigbar, "Hang-- Two!?"**

At dawn the next day, the FreeShooter was up and about, but still confused of what to do on his first day. Oh sure, he had absolute power and all, but what can you do with _that_? Okay, order someone around here and there, maybe organize a live shooting range with the Org. members as targets... Actually... that didn't sound too bad.

Xigbar strolled through the empty corridors, examining the dull walls as he passed. Yes... this would work out nicely. "VEXEN!" He shouted at the old (yes, old) man, startling him so badly that he spilled his bottle of lemon juice all over the floor.

"Aww, damn. Now it looks like I--"

"GAWD, Vex. Lost your Depends?" Xigbar smirked. "No worries, it's not your bladder that I need. I need your brain."

"Xigbar, what are you--"

"You should address me as Superior, you know."

"... _Superior_. How may I be of assistance?" Vexen said through clenched teeth.

Xigbar thought for a moment. "I need you to re-design the Organization coats. Something with a... target design, if you will."

Outraged, Vexen yelled, "I AM A SCIENTIST, NOT A FASHION DESIGNER. If you want pretty new clothes, go ask Marluxia."

"HEY!" Came a shout from another room.

"Tsk tsk tsk. Ohh, Vexen." Xigbar draped an arm around his shoulders. "You're going to make me do something I realllly don't want to."

"And what, pray tell, would you do?" Vexen challenged.

"THIS!" Xigbar bent down quickly and grabbed one of Vexen's ankles before teleporting upside down, still holding on. He swiftly slipped his foot into a leg-sized noose that hung from the ceiling, leaving the man there to dangle. "Let's see how smart you are when all the blood in your body rushes to your head!" Teleporting back to the ground, Xigbar admired his work. "Nice bloomers, by the way." He commented before running off.

--

"MARLUXIA!" Xigbar shouted. Startled, Marluxia jumped, dropped his tape measure and all four hundred pins he had in his mouth fell out.

"Oh damn it Xigbar!" He shouted, stomping his foot angrily on some of the pins, getting them caught in his shoe. Stumbling, he slipped and fell, and more pins protruded his... backside. Howling in pain, he looked up. "This is YOUR fault!" He screamed, pulling a pin out from his elbow.

"How is it my fault that you had four hundred pins and your mouth and appearantly have nervous twitching disorders too?" Ignoring Marluxia's angry twitching and mumbling, he continued, "But anyway. Seeing as I'm _Superior_, I need some revamped Org coats for everybody. Well, everybody but me. Something with target designs on it should do well."

Marluxia didn't say anything at first. The flowery gears in his skull were working madly. "What color would you like these to be, Superior?" He asked quietly.

"Oh, I dunno. Red and white?" Xigbar shrugged.

_Red and white... makes pink._ Marluxia grinned devilishly.

Thinking he was smiling at the fact that he got to do work for the Superior, Xigbar grinned back. "See? I knew you'd like this project. How long is it going to take, do you think? I hate waiting."

"... Four days." Marluxia said, finally getting to his feet.

"Aww man. That'll make it"--He quickly counted on his fingers--"Saturday! I'll only have another day left after that!"

Marluxia shrugged. "You want them, you'll wait for them."

Sighing in annoyance, Xigbar turned to leave. "Oh, and by the way. You have a pin sticking out of the middle of your forehead."

--

"Alrighty Vexen, had enough?" Xigbar snapped his fingers, and Vexen came tumbling down to the floor.

"I already told you, I don't make clothes!" He growled, tugging his coat down.

"Oh no no no." Xigbar said. "Instead of clothes, I need you to make me some new guns."

Vexen paused. "Guns? What kind of guns?" He asked suspiciously.

"I don't care. Something messy. Like paint. Or tomatoes."

Vexen grinned. "I'm on it, Superior!" He nodded and began to jog off, but he slipped and fell in some lemon juice that was spilled on the floor.


	4. Chapter 2 Part 2 Hang Two

**Chapter 2**

**Xigbar, "Hang-- Two!?" (Part 2)**

Exactly four days, three hours, and eight minutes later, Xigbar walked down the halls once again, but this time he was in a much greater hurry. He had two people to see, and nothing could stop him.

"Hey Xigba--" The nervous blonde with a mullet popped out of one of the rooms that Xigbar was walking past.

"...C'MERE YOU!" Xigbar purred, pouncing on him and closing the door.

Okay, maybe _some_ things could stop him.

--

Two... action packed hours later, Xigbar straightened his coat and headed once again down the halls. This time there was absolutely _nothing_ that could stop him.

After a few minutes, Vexen came tumbling out of a door to Xigbar's right, crashing into him. In his hand he held an oddly shaped machine that looked like a cross between a crossbow and a hose.

"My latest invention!" He yelped proudly, offering the contraption to the FreeShooter. "It shoots pellets filled with volcano lava, maple syrup, and fish eggs! Or all three in one. They were the most random and repulsive things I could think of, and I apologize if they're not to your liking, Superior." Vexen was practically hopping up and down with excitement. He pushed his large plastic lab goggles farther up his nose, clasping his hands together.

Xigbar let out a hearty laugh. "To my liking? You've got it spot on!" He grinned, aiming the weapon at Vexen. "Now... to see how it works!"

"It's very simple, Superior, all you must do is--" Vexen's excitement instantly melted into fear. "Xigbar! Watch where you're aiming that thing!" He cried, shrinking into a corner.

Xigbar flicked the gun's switch to Three-In-One. "You created the monster, Vexen, you feel the thunder." His grin changed to a smirk as he pulled the trigger. A steaming redish blobby brown shot out at Vexen, and the scientist wailed in pathetic pain. The volcano lava burnt right through his coat, singeing the poor old man's skin.

"What have you done?!" He gasped, clutching at the burn. When he tried to pull his hand away, he found that the maple syrup mixed with the sticky fish eggs kept his hand firmly in place. Growling, he looked up. "You'll pay for this, Xigbar! _You'll pay_!"

Whistling merrily, Xigbar continued onto his next destination.

--

"Xigbar! Come in, come in!" Marluxia cried happily upon seeing the week's Superior. "Now, let me tell you this first. You know that little project you gave me a little while back? LOVED IT. I let myself go _crazy_ and _totally_ all out!" He pushed a stray lock of pink hair behind his ear, winking. "Simply _fabulous_. You're gonna love 'em!"

"Geez, geez, okay Mar. Just show me what you've been working on."

Skipping over to a long lilac colored curtain, he pulled it aside. "Viola! Well, what do you think?!"

Xigbar's jaw dropped. Before him, on a mannequin, there hung an Organization XIII coat. But not just any Organization XIII coat. The coat itself was a pale pink, the color pink that people paint their newborn baby girl's room. There were the requested targets on the coat, of course, but they weren't red and white. They were a blinding purple and hot pink, and they were more in the shape of flowers than targets. Every place that there wasn't a target there was a picture of a small rose petal, obviously showing that this was the disastrous work of Marluxia himself.

For a few moments, Xigbar could say nothing. "It's... it's..." His face broke out into an ear-to-ear grin. "Perfect, Wait'll everybody is forced into _these_ tomorrow! They'll be glad I'm shooting them with filth!"

Marluxia frowned. "Why ever would you want to ruin these?" He lifted up one of the coat's sleeves and held it close to his chest.

"I had you make them entirely for this purpose!" Xigbar laughed, turning on his heel and making his way out the door. Tomorrow could not come fast enough.


End file.
